Ugh

Do you ever just wish things were easier? And then feel guilty because yoy know they could be worse? Yeah. Me neither;)

Tonight was one of those nights where nothing seemed to work correctly and I ended up having a big ol' pity party.

I'm blessed beyond measure but life is still hard.  Feelings mess everything up.

And Christmas tree lights are stupid.  I'm recycling all the old ones and buying new LED ones tomorrow. Whoever came up with the 'hunt for the one burned out bulb' plan should be shot.

Christmas 'break'

I decided to quit facebook for the Christmas season! It just felt like that's what I was being called to. Less screen time, more focus. Continually striving towards greater simplicity. This was day #2 and so far no gapping hole, lol! Mostly I just feel less distracted. I know I shouldn't get cocky just two days in but it feels good and shockingly easy and incredibly free-ing. Like I've lost weight. I'm going to try and blog more and sort of document this experiment over the next month. What I plan and what actually happens are always so different but God always does something. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!

Phew!

Woah.

Four kids (3 and under), one of them being Griffin, is e.h.a.u.s.t.i.n.g!

Two are infants that just learned to crawl. So the get into each others way and chase me all over.

One more day, we can do it!

Today was pretty much a disaster from start to finish.

Griffin was up at 5 am. He sort of dozed until 6, when he woke Sullivan up too. Madeline cried all day long anytime Griffin got near her. Sullivan only napped once (at 9) and then blessedly again at 4. He's started crawling and quit his pacifier this week. And has two top teeth that look like they've broken through but you can still feel gum over them. He is miserable and therefore, I am miserable. He hasn't slept longer than an hour in 4 or 5 days.

I would not have made it without a dear friend dropping by (and bringing caffeine!!)- Thanks for saving my sanity, Tracy!

Tomorrow, assuming the boys crash early again, we're headed to the girls house. They sleep until 8:30 or 9 every morning and I'm thinking, if my boys are going to be awake anyways, that's 3 more hours with only 2 kids. Getting out the door before 6 am is going to be a feat deserving of a medal!!

The most important thing from today is that God has definitely answered a prayer for direction. I most definitely do not want to earn additional money by doing a full-time daycare or even full-time babysitting. Or by fostering infants. I really will take a class room full of middle-schoolers over a house full of toddlers any day. :)

Minimal success

Well, I started today off with a little bit of Bible time! I'm going to focus on my tiny bit of success instead of far I have to go. Pretty sure I'll never workout again. Maybe when kids are in school?  Sullivan has been on a daytime sleep strike this week...that's fun. BUT he has learned how to crawl and he's cute so I'll cut him a break.

Side note: I watched my friend's daughters today (2 and 9 months) and although I love them and they are super easy, I am sooooo glad God didn't give me so many kids so close together.  A day here and there is one thing, lol! I grovel at the feet of moms of multiples!

Habits 2.0

Changing bad habits and eatablishing new good habits really is hard. After a great chat with the hubs last night I'm freshly inspired.

The plan is to write this out and hang it somewhere I see it everday, multiple times a day. And to add to it as I think of others, decide some aren't so important.

Essentially I want a daily to-do/priority list that looks something like this:
1. Bible
2. Workout
3.
4.
...
Last. Facebook/waste time

And I want all the things I want to do on there and higher in priority, especially the things I tend to forget about or the really big projects that wouldn't be so overwhelming if tackled bit by bit over many nights.

Turning this ship around is gonna be slow;)

Habits

I'm realizing that starting new habits is hard. Mostly because I forget or fail to prepare.

Earlier this summer I made it 8 days on "The Plan". I lost 8 pounds and felt great. I was full, full of energy, sleeping well. It rocked. And was so much work. It's something I can't manage when I'm this busy. But I'm trying to establish the habit of drinking 16 ounces of lemon water every morning. I'm one for three.

One for three at working our.

Zero for three at reading my Bible.

The good news: tomorrow is my last day working until the 22nd. And from now on we've agreed I need to work way less. It's just not worth the tiny amount of cash I make for all the stress it creates.

I'm just a pendulum swinging back and forth hoping to some day settle closer to who I want to be. Calm. Organized. Flexible. Free. Healthy. Peaceful.