Four years and here I am, laying in bed and listening to him breath...still. Oh my heart is full to bursting with a love I never knew possible. The gospel is real and alive in a way that is indescribable. My God, gave up his SON (!), for ME (?). The thought of giving up my son!! Nuh uh. No way. He loved me (and you) SO MUCH that that's what he did. Woah. That is overwhelming. Humbling. Breaking.
Motherhood is harder than I imagined yet profoundly fulfilling. My mission: to love deeply and patiently and kindly all those things 1 Corinthians lists so that this most special of little people will know God and share him. I'm taking this mission more and more seriously these days, wrapping my head (and heart) around what that might truly mean...and what God might be asking for from me.
Tonight, though, I push all that aside and just listen to his deep breaths, feel his soft skin, and pray that these snuggles last many more years!