Tuesday, November 29, 2011

WOF

I was able to attend Women of Faith this year! I love getting a chance to spend the day/weekend with other women and learn more about being a woman of God. I'm finally getting around to reviewing my notes and wanted to process them here:)

Patsy Clairmont: Every morning say three things. 1) YES- to God. Let the day be his from the very beginning. 2) THANK YOU- to God. Start every day with an attitude of gratitude. 3) NO- to people. Listen for God's leading but don't feel bad or guilty about saying "no".

How you act/react is your witness. People are watching you and making a choice for God based on your actions and reactions. Especially to hard things that happen to you or in your life.

In a multitude of words, there is sin.

God has designed you with a will that is stronger than your emotions. Your emotions do not have a brain and can not think, they are meant to help us process things but they are NOT capable of communicating the truth. You CAN act in a way different than how you feel. Our emotions often give us incorrect information.

Andy Andrews: We are all in, coming out of, or headed into a crisis.

You are going to get pushed into the pool. How are you going to act WHEN (not if) someone pushes you into the pool.

God's principles ALWAYS work. If you follow principles, you can be faster in your reactions. You don't have to pray about every little thing. Principles broaden our firm ground (ex. Do not steal, you don't have to pray about cheating on your taxes).

Seek wisdom: Be concerned about your associations. Who are you hanging out with. The people we hang out with create our normal.

In a marriage, if you were alike- one of you would be unnecessary.

There is hope. You are still here. You are still alive. Your purpose has not been fulfilled. There is still something you need to accomplish.

No one really cares how we feel. They care how we ACT. The way you act is directly related to the amount of good things in your life. (BEING a good friend creates friends in your life). God blesses actions. (Feeding the birds but not putting the worm in their mouth).

Good things happen to you because of how you act when things are going well. GREAT things happen to you because of how you act when things aren't going well. (By the way you act, you completely control the cookie flow in your life).

I'm sorry is not the same as asking for forgiveness. Saying I'm sorry implies that it was an accident. Asking for forgiveness accepts responsibility for consciously making a poor choice.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Boom

One thing I don't do well: Express what I'm feeling without blowing up. 

I hate to say that I stuff my feelings, because I'm pretty quick to let people know what I'm thinking. BUT I do know I think I can do more than I really can AND that I'm bad at knowing when I've reached my breaking point...until I blow right through it.

I blew it tonight. Big Time. 

So now I try to come down from it all. Grovel and apologize yet still learn from it and try and prevent it from happening again. 

It's going to be a tired day tomorrow!

Babies

So many new babies.

I can't believe how sad I am that I'm not pregnant. I just didn't see these ugly emotions coming. Working with God on it though. Trusting his timing and his ways.

When we decided to try for a baby (or more aptly quit trying NOT to have one), I was somewhat hopeful that I couldn't get pregnant. Now I can't imagine life without my Griffin and want more so that he has siblings to play and fight with. Pax is only half-time and not permanent at that. Griffin is so bored without his Paxey, his Bro-sin (Brother + cousin), his playmate and best friend.

Lately I've started giving over to God the method as well as the timing of baby #2. We've always said we were open to adoption and I meant it. I know hubs means it too.

Such a hard thing to fully put in God's hands. I'm still hoping and praying for soon:)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wasting away

Time. I'm wasting way too much of it. On facebook. Again.

I took a week off awhile back and it was awesome.

Thinking and praying. Hmmmmm.....

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

New Year's resolution #1

I want to say "no" more. I want to be less busy.

But a lot of my motivation is so that I can actually get more done around my house. More of my projects started and finished.

And I wonder, I pray, that God would make my motives pure. That I would not miss his work, his leading, with people in order to focus on tasks.

But I'm feeling antsy to do a deep full-house clean. And in the last year, I most certainly have not been checking things off my to-do list!

And we're trying (always) to do better and be more financially responsible and so many of my projects require cash. Not a lot, but it does add up. I need to prioritize the projects so that when I start earning the "big bucks" during the long-term maternity leave I'll be covering from Feb-June, I can get at least a couple done.

The biggest project will be to save for baby #2 though. I'm praying and waiting and trusting God on that:) He's already making me wait longer than I wanted too but I know his timing is always best.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Roller coasters

My poor emotions. They are just riding a roller coaster and they have no idea how to get off. Newly pregnant friends, friends expecting any day, fresh new beautiful babies, babies having open heart surgery (www.masongarka.com). And that's just on the baby front. Happy, jealous, worried. Up, down, and all around.

Both the hubs and I are working lots which doesn't leave us a lot of family time. He's lucky if he gets to spend 1 hour with the toddler awake. Kinda makes me glad we ended up co-sleeping, we're at least getting snuggles...lots and lots of those. The last couple nights have been back to poor sleeping. The good new on that...since I moved the crib into our room (sidecar arrangement), I've been taking more naps and going to bed earlier because I simply fall asleep while waiting for the kid to do so too! Yesterday I was asleep by 7pm!

And I am struggling with how to love and serve him and the kid, patiently, humbly and kindly. Being a working mom is way harder than I thought it would be. Not because I'm actually doing too much but because I feel so un-understood. I know that's not a word but misunderstood doesn't seem to convey the right meaning. I simply mean, I feel like there's no understanding of how hard it is to feed a baby 3-5 times a night (it's been over a year since I slept longer than 3 hours at a time), work all day, pick the kid (or kids) up from daycare, come home and squeeze in quality time with kid/kids, clean and make dinner, clean up and get ready for the next day, do bath time and bed time. Is it any surprise I've only worked out like 10 times in the last year? Or that I'm a month behind on my bible reading? I'm sure I'm neglecting him and he feels the same way (un-understood). Now I just pray about what I need to do and let God worry about him. I usually just end up picking a fight and saying hurtful things when I try to fix the situation:)

God is good and this too shall pass. I'm going to go climb into bed with the baby, hope daddy joins us soon!