Women of Faith

I was blessed to spend the last 2 days at the Women of Faith conference when it came to Seattle. I was desperately in need of some spiritual food and my soul feels rested, fed, loved, encouraged, convicted and challenged. I'm too sleepy tonight to digest much but plan on spending some quality time reviewing my notes and my heart!

Plus, in a very clear answer to my "I-need-more-sleep-prayers" I know what I need to do. Stop DOING things and GO TO BED. Early. When Griffin goes down. It's not the answer I wanted. What I wanted was a baby that miraculously started sleeping all night until 7 or 8am so I could do everything I wanted and still get plenty of sleep.

The problem is how angry, impatient, grumpy, frustrated and mean I have become while chronically sleep deprived and stubbornly unchanging in my obsessions to get everything done before I go to bed. And I've failed to prioritize quiet times and workouts- two things I desperately need for my physical and emotional health.

Well, last night I fell asleep at 8pm when I put Griffin down. And even though he woke me up every 2-ish hours I woke feeling rested and cheerful this morning. And I never got angry and frustrated with his crying, tossing and turning, and nursing!! And it dawned on me that if I start going to bed with him and getting some good rest...and he starts sleeping better, I could actually get my quiet times and workouts done in the morning!

Again, not the answer I want since I'm a natural night owl but it's the grown-up-pull-up-your-big-girl-panties-and-deal-with-it answer I need:) So with all that said, it's past my bedtime! Good-night and may God bless you with renewal and refreshment for your life and soul!

Fall

This is the first time I have ever been excited for less daylight. I've always loved fall- the wind, the storms, the leaves changing color and getting to pull my sweaters out but I've always hated the lack of sunshine and daylight. This year, I'm remembering how well Griffin slept 10.5 months ago. I know it was mostly due to being a newborn but I'm also hopeful that the return to early sunsets and late sunrises will translate into longer stretches of sleep for me. That and he got his 2 upper middle teeth finally! We've been waiting on those suckers for months!!

Who knows, maybe being well-rested is in my near future!!!

I don't like....

Things I don't like for the month of August:
Cake. Cookies. Ice cream. Soda. Late nights. Laziness. Chips. Deep fried foods. Things out of a box.

Things I love for the month of August:
Vegetables. Early bedtimes. Early mornings. Workouts. Salads. Water.

I hate the word "diet" but that's what I'm putting myself on. For the month of August. I figure it's a short enough time period I won't be tempted by all the "bad" stuff because of an irrational fear that if I don't eat THIS piece of cake, I will never get another chance to eat cake my ENTIRE LIFE. And hopefully it's a long enough period that I can see some results.

I hate diets. It needs to be a life style. Unfortunately my mostly organic and fairly healthy life style isn't helping me shed the baby weight. I lost 25lbs the first week and nothing since. Granted, it's been 9 months of pretty much exclusively breastfeeding and little sleep and I've pumped and donated almost 900oz (my goal is 1,000 before we wean!). But enough is enough. And maybe, if I can get rid of 10lbs, I'll stop snoring which drives the hubby crazy.

So goodnight to July (in 15 minutes). Hello to the August me:)

Wish me luck! Or feel free to encourage me:)!

Can a leopard change it's...stripes?

This week I've been trying an experiment. I've been trying to force my 8 month old into a schedule. I can hear your laughter now. I know, I know...Mission Impossible 4?! We've never had a schedule, although I would have loved one and planned on having one. But 44 hours of labor and sheer exhaustion reduced my abilities to keep track of time, feedings, and poopy diapers to that of a, well, a sleep deprived new mommy. I'm surprised they let you drive. And here it is, 8 months later and I'm not functioning much better. Hence, the above mentioned experiment.

As far as the experiment, things seem to be going okay. Or not really going at all. I just don't really care enough to force it to happen. I like my baby sleeping with me. I don't mind that he's so busy during the day, he eats all night long. I've figured out how to sleep through most night feedings. It's really only the nights he wakes up every 20-30 minutes that kill me. Teething sucks....and is such a slow process!

What I've really learned this last week is that what I need to do is change my spots. I don't like it but the reality is, this night owl needs to become an early bird.

Somehow, I have to figure out a way to go to bed earlier. It's not that I don't have the chance. Griffin is usually asleep by 7pm or 8pm, sometimes 9 but that's when I want to play. Get online, goof off, write, read, etc.

I'm sure you've read, heard, or seen the example of someone filling a jar first with big rocks (life's important things), then smaller pebbles (the slightly less important things), then sand (the even more less important things), then finally water (the things you can do without but because you put the big rocks in first, you still have time to do....like alphabetize your dvds...or something like that).

Currently my only big rock needs to be sleep. If I can just get more/enough of that, I will be able to figure out what my other big rocks are. I just tried to type a list and can't even narrow it down/decide. So here's to being even more boring than I already am. Since God gave me a baby that thinks it's time to party every morning at 6am. Yippee. Skippy.