Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Catching up Favorites

What with having a new baby and all, I haven't been reading as much. Now that life seems to be evening out and a routine appearing, here are some of my favorite posts from the last month. I still have a lot more catching up to do with some of my favorite bloggers...I'm hoping for lots of reading time in Michigan...and to be all caught up by the end of May. Honestly, if I haven't read it by then- I'm just letting it go:)

Discontentment versus Disappointment by Rachael Andrews

Book recommendation, Praying for your kids (specifically), Thankful, and 'All Natural' by Carina Lee

One Year (and pretty much everything she writes) by Diana Stone

HomeReturn to Sender (and every other post too) by Sarah Rieke

Mother's Day ReflectionsCan You Imagine?, Clean Eating (again, all her posts really) AND a new blog Nourished by Lauren Casper

Life with Three by Rachel Garlinghouse

Mombie moments by Beth- my new source of comic relief and reality checks!

Parenting Truths by new parent Amanda

I almost didn't publish this but decided I will keep doing posts like this because I want to be able to find these posts again someday when I really need them!

Thyroid update

We had our follow-up appointment with endocrinology today. The doctor said based on his scan that showed no uptake of the radioactive tracer, plus his 'borderline abnormal' results on his blood work, and the fact that the ultrasound showed he does in fact have a thyroid that she thinks this is transient and might clear up in 6-7 months!! Basically, my antibodies from when he was inside me and used my blood, are blocking his thyroid from working and as he grows his own blood and mine disappears, this could resolve itself. There is still a chance his thyroid won't ever work properly. And because controlling the thyroid in the first 3 years of brain and physical development is so important, he will be on thyroid replacement until he's 3. Then it's not such a big risk and they will take him off meds to see if his thyroid is working. So he needs blood work in 3 weeks to evaluate dosage and a follow-up appointment with endocrinology in 3 months.

So, big sigh of relief just having someone who knows talk to me. I didn't realize I was carrying around such a big ball of worries until they were (mostly) relieved.

I'm still not happy about crushing a pill and trying to get him to drink it. And am going to research if there is an alternative.

I also want to meet with a naturopath and just hear their opinion.

Getting the pill into him is such a stressful thing. I 'spilled' one today after it was crushed. And he puked it back up two days in a row. And I just feel like it's all going to be my fault if he has developmental delays. At my midwife appointment yesterday I received so much encouragement and nice words! Thanks ladies for reassuring me that all will be okay and that we'll get the hang of meds! Those girls are the nicest, most sympathetic, and understanding group of women when it comes to how a mom reacts about her baby. I'm going to miss them!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Fail

Day two and I've already 'failed'. It's 10pm and I'm just now getting to my 2 big rocks.

And it's obvious that of all days I should have started with God, this is one of them. I have SO, so, SO far to go- God has his work cut out for him! That's the honest part. I'm not perfect. I'm a task oriented person. My people skills are by biggest weakness.

The other part is I'm feeling really attacked tonight. Like all the voices in my head are beating me down. And there's only one someone who thinks that means victory. Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Even knowing that, it's a hard fight. My spirit is wounded and Satan know right where to hit and what words to use.

Tonight, especially, I miss having a small group. But God moved all but one of them out of state (and that one he took to Africa for a year). Praying Pleading with God to bring me a new one. I need one desperately if I'm going to survive marriage and parenthood and life.

Monday weigh-in

Well, I forgot to weigh myself yesterday morning...and didn't do it today until after I'd eaten breakfast, so I'm going to blame all that on what the scale said: 164.3.

Even though I'm not a scale addict, I'd really like that number to be lower. Like 135-ish.

Let's not even talk about my diet, okay? Suffice it to say, it's been a stressful busy week and I've gained a pound.

Yesterday I started two 30 day challenges: Squats and Push-ups.


I'm doing the squats in sets of 10 for now, maybe I'll bump up to sets of 20 or 30 as the month progresses. The push-ups I'm doing on my knees and because that's so much easier (read: doable), I'm adding a zero and doing them in sets. For example: Today is day 2 and I'm supposed to do 4 push-ups. Since I can't do 4, I'm going to do 4 sets of 10 on my knees. I might go through this challenge a second time doing regular push-ups next month. 

So far (1 day) this is working really well with my busy crazy life right now. I don't have the option of getting a 30-60 minute uninterrupted workout in, so doing some strength training spread throughout the day is making me feel like I'm at least on track!

Join me?!!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Rocks 1 and 2

There are two big rocks that I'm severely neglecting that have to be priorities starting now.

1) God and 2) my physical health (getting my strength back)

1: God will never not be a part of my everyday but what is missing is time in the Word. Such a hard thing to make time for with the busyness of life. I used to thirst for my daily quiet times...now with little running around and stealing my sleep, I have a harder time making the time- and I need it more than ever. For their sake. For my sake. For the sake of everyone around me. SO, this is my first big rock. Every day for the next 28 (that's how long to make a habit, right?)

2: Pregnancy has a way of adding pounds and eating muscle. And I desperately need mine back...to protect my back! And set an example for my boys. SO, this is my second big rock every day for, you guessed it, the next 28 days.

Because I can't do anything without a plan: I'm starting the New Testament again- I've already read through it once this year but just don't feel up for the OT. This time, slower, deeper, and more journaling (here and on paper). As far as getting my physical strength back, I also have a plan. Simple (stole it from facebook) 30 day challenges. Pushups and squats. Start off small, add to the number each day. That's my minimum. On days that I can, I'll do a pilates or yoga dvd. On days that I can and it's nice enough, I'll get in a walk.

Check back on Mondays for updates! Once these two habits are firmly established, I'll move onto some other big rocks...and hopefully, the smaller ones just fall into place.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Clutter

I am not a clutter person. You will never find me on an episode of hoarders. I'm like the opposite of a hoarder, I'm constantly purging our crap stuff.

And yet, there always seems to be more.

How is it possible that I 'nested' in this house just a few months ago and now I feel like I need to do it all again?

Both the hubs and I come from homes where there is too much stuff. Mine was more of a "I might need this someday" family, his was more of a "look at my collections" family.

I dread the day all that stuff becomes our responsibility.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Sand vs. Boulders

While going about my day, I've been thinking about that visual aid with the jar, big rocks, medium rocks, small rocks, and sand. You can only fit everything in if you start with the big rocks first.

I'm pretty sure I've been starting my days with the 'sand' of life, so the bigger, more important, rocks aren't making it into my days.

As much as I'd like to wake up tomorrow and completely reorganize my life and our schedules and start with the big rocks, it just isn't going to happen. I'm too busy right now...and I'm a planner. I need to keep thinking about what my big rocks are and figure out a plan...I have visions of a color coded spread sheet/schedule in my head. Please don't laugh...I love me some excel!

I've got a whole bunch of things in the next 10 days that have to happen...then me and the boys fly out to Michigan to visit with my extended maternal family. Life will have to slow down out there and I'm so excited to just soak up family and rest. And come home ready to be much more intentional. 

I want to live on purpose! 

Are you?

Thursday, May 9, 2013

A thousand things

Beth Moore has said it twice in the last five weeks, "You can't do a thousand things well. Do a few things and do them well."

It seems my life is a pendulum swinging past 'balance' until I reach one extreme or the other.

Although, as I age I feel like I'm getting better at saying 'no' and thinking before I say 'yes'. Marrying my husband, a true introvert (I'm a 'barely' introvert) has also changed the amount of 'stuff' I do and commit to (although probably not as much as he would like, it is much less than I used to do).

And I've been thinking about what needs to be done better and what needs to be cut as I adjust to parenting two littles.

I've got a few major commitments in the next couple weeks, the pendulum is way too far over in the 'thousand things poorly' side currently. I'm really looking forward to pushing it back towards balance....just in time for summer and maybe even spend some time as a family in the 'too few we're on vacation' side. :)

It's a constant ebb and flow, and I'm okay with that. It's just a re-evaluate kind of moment for me.

Mostly, I want to 'do' raising my boys and having an awesome marriage right. All else is 'extra' and I need to hold it with open hands, God can ask me to give any of it up at anytime and I need to be ready to say, 'Okay.'

Thinking...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Children's

We spent the day today at our local Children's Hospital getting tests done on Sullivan's thyroid. It's been measuring "borderline abnormal" since he was born- this was found thanks to a routine newborn blood screening. He's had the two normal ones required in the state of Washington, plus two follow up blood draws and until yesterday I wasn't even thinking about it. Then yesterday around 12:30 or 1, our pediatrician called to tell me that the latest numbers had gone back up and she was going to get us in at Children's today or tomorrow. Talk about a change in the sense of urgency! So I promptly googled and read everything I could on infant thyroid problem, etc.

Today started with a traumatic iv placement followed by a thyroid scan using a radioactive tracer. Sullivan's scans showed no evidence of uptake, meaning his thyroid didn't 'uptake' the tracer they put into his blood stream (and it should). So they had us come back at 1pm for an ultrasound to see if he even has a thyroid (which he does!!! YAY!). So now, we just administer thyroid meds daily and have a follow up with an endocrinologist next Wednesday, back at Children's.

The best part about today (besides having awesome medical insurance, having access to a world-renown Children's Hospital and specialists, and Sullivan having a thyroid) was lunch at The Ram! One of my favorite restaurants, it was a nice break- especially since we didn't have time for breakfast this morning! THEN we managed to hit Happy Hour at Starbuck's on the way home and scored half-price fraps...this momma was in desperate need for some caffeine!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Sabbath

Yesterday (Monday), I tried to run a bunch of errands/get a bunch of things done. Although I was successful in getting everything I had to done, I kept feeling like I was forgetting something important.

As far I can tell, I did not actually forget anything.

But what I have figured out is that with my personality, I need Mondays to be my 'Sabbath' day. The day I reset for the next 7 days. It sounds silly but even if I clean on Sunday, mentally it helps me so much if once a week I 'clean' my house from top to bottom. I say 'clean' because it's mostly straightening and wiping down, but it just helps me feel ready and organized for the coming week.

I also love that Monday nights is 'Women's' night at our church. It's when we have our forum/bible studies and I want to keep that going! I feel like it's my special time to feed my soul. Plus, Daddy's in the habit of running Monday nights and I want to keep that going. So much so that I'm willing to spearhead/lead the next Bible study if necessary!

So there you have it. I've learned something about myself that I probably already knew but now I can put it into words. And if I decline an invite on Monday, just know that it's nothing personal!

Monday, May 6, 2013

Monday

Weighing in at 163 today! Managed to get one measly workout in last week. I did part of my favorite yoga dvd and it felt great! To be fair, I did tons of work around my house and in the yard, it wasn't like I was just sitting on the couch!

Food is, and always will be, my weakness. I have zero self-control and am so quickly forgetful about my goals. And when I'm starving hungry, I really have no self control. And I'm starving hungry a lot these days.

Speaking of...I'm going to go enjoy a cookie:)

This is going to be hard!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Contentment

A re-occurring theme in my life, especially in the last year or so, is how different I am because of my joy level.

And how misunderstood I am because of it.

There are lots of posts on here that deal with it...I've done a bad job of labeling them but you can look on the sidebar for links if you want to read more.

The fact is, I have fought for and still do fight to maintain contentment and joy. I fight because I truly believe it is a biblical mandate to be content and joyful in all circumstances. And it really is a fight to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). A hard fight. And it's something I've always struggled with, just ask those that knew me in high school and college:).

Lately, in the last week or so, I've been realizing that there are two things in particular that the enemy is using to chip away at my contentment. These two things are really benign but they have had a big impact on me lately: 1) HGTV and 2) Facebook healthy living groups.

HGTV: Watching too much of this makes it really hard for me to be content in our current home in it's current state (crappy kitchen, dirty carpets, grass-less backyard, etc) with our current budget (zero). So I'm cutting it out/limiting what I watch.

Facebook: I have 'liked' multiple healthy living pages and I love the recipes, ideas, and articles they share...but I can't afford (financial or time) to be 'that' person right now. I feel my frustration (with our finances and life circumstances), anxiety (about how I'm ruining my family's health), and depression levels rising. So guess what, I've hidden those pages from my newsfeed for now. I can still look them up when I want to, but now I'm the one controlling how much I see and when I see it.

So there you have it. I'm choosing joy and contentment. I'm fighting for it.

What in your life is robbing you of joy and contentment?

Prayers! This battle is a hard one that never ends.