Friday, November 7, 2014
Motherhood is harder than I imagined yet profoundly fulfilling. My mission: to love deeply and patiently and kindly all those things 1 Corinthians lists so that this most special of little people will know God and share him. I'm taking this mission more and more seriously these days, wrapping my head (and heart) around what that might truly mean...and what God might be asking for from me.
Tonight, though, I push all that aside and just listen to his deep breaths, feel his soft skin, and pray that these snuggles last many more years!
Monday, October 20, 2014
A cool thing happened last week that I don't want to forget. I try and keep music (worship) playing in the house during the day because my mood is so fickle, it helps me stay focused on what really matters.
Well this particular day was full of little people's emotions and I was at my wits end. I turned the music off so it would be quieter and low and behold everything changed. I immediately could hear a still small voice calling me to prayer!
It was so cool. The whole atmosphere in our house changed and I was praying for people near and far as we went about our day.
I've never experienced anything like that before :)
You were probably prayed for ;)
Thursday, October 16, 2014
I make lists. ALL.THE.TIME.
Every New Year.
Usually I get a couple things on them done.
But mostly I forget about them...clearly the things on them aren't too important.
But this year. I am different. This is not my doing. I repeat, I have not done this.
I'm excited. A little bit nervous. It feels like a new season in my life is approaching, spring maybe??
Thirty-Five by 35, 12 week progress report.
I've read my Bible almost daily for TWELVE weeks! (I used to read my Bible completely every year...and then kids happened and I just haven't been able to figure it out. Also, my goal is not to read every single day. I can not, currently, at this stage of life, make morning quiet times happen. So night time reading it is...and that doesn't always happen BUT I am staying caught up on the year-through-the-Bible plan that I found and LOVE!)
I am 25% done with my ambitious "read 35 books" goal! (And it's been 25% of the year, so that's tracking well!)
I have 5 things completely checked off my list (14%)
I have FOURTEEN things in process (one of which-Bible reading- can't be finished "early", and a couple others that aren't really check-off-able).
I have FIVE blank spots still.
I think one of them may just become to write more again. To escape the trap of facebook and other mindless internet wanderings.
(Secret: I'd love for one of them to be have another baby. Praying! Will take God changing Ryan's heart on the matter, without me forcing the issue!)
Saturday, September 20, 2014
“It’s also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master’s investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master’s money.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Not more cleaning. Not more crafting.
More loving and helping. More changing and more good. SO much hurt and pain out there. Wish I could just hug all the sad people and make all the madness stop.
Yeah, there's my pageant speech. Sigh. This world can be overwhelming at times.
Friday, April 11, 2014
One family all went to a baseball game together. They lost everything except, miraculously, their dog who was at home and survived. Another family is completely gone. Mom. Dad. 2 little boys. Another mom was at work and lost her husband and three of her four children. The one that survived only had a few scrapes and bruises. Somehow another mother was able to hold onto her 5 month old and they both survived. There are multiple couples where one survived and the other didn't and they were sitting in the same room. Love stories ended in 60 seconds.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Here are some current ones, usually inspired by the facebook highlight reel:
Monday, January 6, 2014
Some will call this an excuse. I call it a damn good reason.
It's the beginning of the year and people all over facebook are talking about their health and fitness resolutions and I'm somewhat envious but also somewhat relieved to not be joining in this year.
Of course one of my goals is to lose the 'baby' weight and get back into shape. But I'm being honest this year and not even bothering to make it a priority. You know why?
Because I haven't slept longer than 3-4 hours at a stretch in 3.5 years. And that's on a good night.
Because I've been pregnant or nursing for four years.
And I don't see that changing anytime soon. I nursed Griffin until he was beyond 2 and imagine Sullivan will do the same.And as crazy as it sounds, I'd rather keep things the way the are because I love co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding.
That's not to say it's always easy. Or ever easy. Or that every minute of everyday it's what I want.
But it IS what I want and what I feel lead to/called to.
And it will end soon enough. And then, then I will be able to change my priorities without sacrificing something I can only have once, now, when my babies are babies.
I will never wish I had spent less time snuggled up next to them, feeding them, smelling their intoxicating milk-breath. There is nothing, not even a bikini-body, worth sacrificing all that for.
And if you know me and my history, to be able to say that, to be able to let go of all of that and rest peacefully in what is now- that's pretty amazing. It makes me a little proud to see tangibly how I've grown, how I've learned to relax, how I've finally learned to prioritize relationships over checking things off my to-do list.
That and I saw an old friend last week who's youngest is a few months older than my oldest. And she looks AMAZING. And I know, I just know, that I will get there again when I'm out of the babies phase because I miss it. I miss sweating and pushing myself. But now, for me, it just isn't the time.
So my goal for 2014? To just enjoy life. To move and sweat when I can. To eat what I can and need to- focusing on healthy choices but with no rules, after all- I am still breastfeeding :) And to worry about results when my body is all mine again.
And that's why I'm a little envious of people who have made different parenting choices (formula, CIO) and sleep full nights and have the energy and ability to focus on themselves. Good luck in 2014, I'll catch up next year:)