I've had so much to say in the last month but its almost been like I had too much to say and couldn't put it into words. But now I'm at the point where I have to get it out.
We're no longer TTC because we are pregnant!! We're due in mid-March and keeping the secret just about killed me.
This pregnancy is similar and yet so different from Pumpkin Pie. I've been nauseous a lot again but this time I tried vitamin B6 and it helped a lot. I haven't thrown up once...yet...although I still get waves where I think I might not be able to keep it together. And trust me, I've fought hard for the "no puking" award.
I've also been way more emotional this time...mostly because I've waited so long for this and am so excited and grateful we get to do this again. I watch Pumpkin and get all teary-eyed because there will soon be two. I've gone from never wanting kids of my own to being so grateful for every moment with my little guy and the prospect of a sibling.
School (a.k.a. work) has started back up and I've been super busy. My daycare lady from last year isn't available this year so I'm looking for new options. And not finding anything that sits well with my mommy's heart. I need 'Grandma' Netti back! There is also the possibility of a full-time position opening up at 'my' school and of me being hired for it.
My heart has never been torn like this before. I've prayed for as long as I can remember for a passion and a job- and now I have it...and it comes when I feel like God has given me two callings and I can't have both. I can't work for a pay check full-time, at a job I love, and parent my child like I want to. I'm trusting God day-by-day now to guide each step and take care of my heart and babies. He has a plan and I trust Him whole-heartedly.