A recent decision by a boy just broke a dear friend's heart and I made a sudden realization.
What every girl dreams of, from the time she is 2 or 3, is not her wedding day. Although many of us do or did that too. It's being picked.
We want one person to pick us over all others.
We want to be loved SO MUCH by one person, that they are willing to give up everything for us.
That's it. Boys, we really are that simple.
We don't need you to actually give it all up for us. That's totally unhealthy and frankly co-dependent. But we want you to be WILLING to give it all up. We want you to be willing (and ready) to defend our honor, stop a bullet, shove us out of the way, pick us over your xbox, your old girlfriends, and even in some cases- your own family.
I promise you, you make a girl feel like you would do all that for her and she will be the best thing that's ever happened to you. And whatever it is that boys need, she'll make sure you get it. Respect, all yours. A life long loyalty, all yours. Sex, you bet.
The sad part is that all boys inherently know this. Some maybe only subconsciously but they all know it and some use their power for evil, not good. Instead of healthy marriages and beautiful relationships, these boys leave in their wake heartache after heartache. These are the boys who tell a girl on the first date that they are going to marry them. These are the boys that tell girls if they have sex with them it will be their own private marriage ceremony.
And the sadder part still. There are girls who fall for these lines. There are girls out there who don't yet know that they are their heavenly father's most precious love and that he ALREADY sacrificed his only son to save them from death, pain, and heartache. They are ALREADY so thoroughly and deeply loved by the King of Kings, they can laugh at those evil boys and their game.
Having fallen for a line like one of those above, had my heart broken, and then healed by the love of my Father in heaven, I know my friend will be okay. In fact, I know she'll be better than ever. But it doesn't make me any less angry at the boys of this world who play with the tender and fragile hearts of girls.
And it makes me determined to raise a son who respects women as precious children made in the image of God. Not as some plaything made for his pleasure that he can toss aside when he grows bored or tired. I will teach my son to refrain from using the words, "I love you", until he is ready and able to follow them up with a proposal. I want him to be such an amazing boy and man, that the girls he interacts with in middle school, high school, and college leave his presence feeling like they deserve the best and are willing to wait for it.
Because, girls, you are. You are a treasured daughter of the King. A princess. Who has a Father who is jealous for you. Who WILL defend your honor and ensures justice for your heart. So don't settle for Satan's lies that this is as good as it will get. That you don't deserve, can't find, or aren't good enough for God's best. He (God) has his best and he's saving it for you. Trust Him. Wait on Him.
Trust me, Satan's second best is not better than staying single. God's best, will constantly amaze you, even 7+ years later.