I read an incredible post yesterday about "if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger". You can read it here: Stronger.
It inspired and encouraged me to look on the bright side of things and feel proud of how much stronger I feel.
To follow up on my meltdown on Tuesday...on Wednesday I ended up getting so angry with my 6th period kiddos that I yelled at them so intensely that they were dead-silent for over 15 minutes. To give you an idea of "normal" my lectures are usually only followed by about 30-60 seconds of silence. Apparently my performance was so impressive the kids were still talking about it the next day. At lunch I had other teachers ask me about it and tell me I in no way should apologize. It felt so good to be understood and supported. Once teacher even told me he once gave a class such a good tongue-lashing that they were silent the rest of the period and when the bell rang, the left without a word.
The good news: I've had a couple of great talks with individual students and groups of students and I have a game-plan for the rest of the year (just 3 more weeks).
The better news: I am a smarter person better prepared for my future as a substitute and someday full-time teacher. THIS is the kind of experience that you should get when earning your teaching certificate. This long-term job is priceless in the long run.
I just wish I had a paycheck coming in August for all this grief. :)
Happy Memorial Day weekend. THANK YOU to all our servicemen and women- you are under-appreciated but not by the Barcis! We are so grateful for your sacrifices and service.